BEST BBA WEEK YET...

"THANK GOD FOR SOCIAL STUDIES"
TK had just been put up for nomination once again alongside Uti and Munya this week and when he was called on by Big Brother to replace himself with any other housemate of his choice since he was head of house, Uti said to him; "Sorry brov" seeing that it should be difficult to keep putting other housemates up single handedly. But TK replied; "Sorry for what? Thank God for Social Studies"!

He had become head of house after winning the task that had them answer questions on African facts. Once again, the intelligence (or the lack of it) of the housemates was thoroughly exposed when questions like 'What is the capital of Senegal?' and 'What was the popular Mohammed Ali fight in the former Zaire called?'; were completely flunked by the housemates and TK came out flying.

Anyways, I started this week's post with TK because against the popular tide, he really is beginning to be a favourite of mine! Now it still doesn't mean that I won't burn that brown-black sweater/cardigan/jersey thing he's always wearing, whenever I get my hands on it; neither does it mean that I now suddenly like the fact that he's perpetually on slow motion when moving or even doing something as effortless as smoking. It just has everything to do with the guy's brains and ability to tuen the game around and not give a f*%k about it!

For the first time since BBA3 started, there was a lot to talk about, in one week all because TK was head of house and took control. He played mind games with everyone and seemed to be the only one who's bold enough to actually say that he's playing the game (seeing that the others have watched so many BB's before now and are actualy pretending to play the game but still do not know how to play it). He summed it up when there was a conversation amongst the housemates and they went on and on about how nominations were difficult because "we're getting closer by the day" to which TK replied; "No they are not difficult. Isn't that why we are here?"

But seriously, like BB Nigeria's Frank will say; "TK, that top has gatta go"!

(M)UTI!

Last week, I was 101% sure that Uti would leave. It made practical sense at the time and for some reason it still does. But then "voters are crazy" (remember BB Nigeria's Gideon said that after Maureen was evicted and he got evicted the next week just for saying that). Lucille got kicked out against many expectations simply because people thought she was a sly fox. I kinda thought so too with the way she kept pulling Ricco and Munya towards and away from her all at the same time. But inspite of the way I felt, I was still sure that Uti would leave.

But my boy obviously touched some muti (South African juju) before sunday! somehow, he not only survived the eviction but did so by miles. Now What I don't know is how strong his muti is to last another week especially after his violent reaction to Lucille's eviction...

But even after predicting that Uti would win, I hoped Lucille would leave instead so maybe once again, I should predict that Uti will leave and yet wish that someone else leaves. Maybe that way, he'd be safe again. But even the hardest of hearts had to melt after seeing Lucille leave the house. I thought it was hilarious initially but then, she kept shaking and fighting back her tears and I thought to myself, how does anyone break up with a chic like this? She'll probably just die in your arms...

UNNECESSARY NOISE!

My apologies to the popular Kenyan group, 'Necessary Noise' but these housemates seem to have taken that title a little too far. They probably think that the more dramatic they are, the more interesting they tend to be.

The noise and drama after Lucille's eviction, was the final straw.

Uti takes the Oscar here for breaking everything in sight. What I am not sure of is whether he was breaking things 'cos he was really sad that Lucille had left or because it was his way of showing how excited he was at being saved by Africa's votes. I for once had a problem with Uti's actions. What was all the drama for? For someone who wasn't even known to be particularly close to Lucille, it was a bit surprising to see him react that way!

Then Mimi's tears were the funniest! Not because they were unnecessary but mostly because she just doesn't have the prettiest face when she cries! Why did she do that to the viewers? An sms that came in after she cried said it all; "The only thing wrong with Mimi crying about Lucille leaving is that every baby on the continent cried on seeing her scary face!"

THE SLOBBY UNLIKELY BLOKE-LESBIAN-PERVERT TRIANGLE

When this show started, everyone expected Ricco, Uti and Morris to be the players in the house. They were good looking and appeared to be smooth operators. Ricco was quick to show that he could be a player, jumping around with every chic (and somehow getting them voted out subsequently). Uti seemed to be taking his time (and still is) while Morris was basically used and dumped without remorse. No one gave TK a flying chance to be the one in charge of 2 girls. But in the last couple of weeks, the guy has taken over and has found himself in the weirdest triangle ever!

Sheila likes him a lot (whether it's simply cos he's head of house is talk for another day) and has kissed him severally. They share a bed and might have actually had their groove on at some point. But before Sheila, there was Tawana who had given TK a good "head" start early on in the show, under the sheets. She left the house for a week and came back and has since tried to reclaim her property (TK)!

But Sheila had another plan up her sleeves. So now she says she has a crush on Tawana (yeah Tawana's a she), who does not mince words about her sex perversions and how she needs to have sex regularly. Tawana on the other hand, does not mind that TK is with Sheila as long as she can have him whenever she wants him back!

Such nutters...

WEAK BROTHER!!

Okay, it's not like I haven't been on a BB show before so I should know a few things. Whoever the producers of the show this time around are, are very passive with their duties. I have watched the show several times and seen the housemates whispering, passing notes and discussing nominations so openely that it defeats the essence of the show! This is not Survivor where anything goes and so it beats me that the producers cannot handle the housemates and put them in line! The viewers are not particularly excited when they see the housemates talk into one anothers' ears! We payed to hear everything they say and they signed up to do same.

It really sucks that Gideon on BB Nigeria (for example) kept being punished for speaking in low tones (not even whispering) and these guys get away with the worst of the lot!

MICCO OR RIMI?

Ricco has suddenly developed a reputaion for dating (or attempting to date) a chic, getting her evicted and then quickly moving on to another one who would most likely get evicted again. First it was Latoya, then Lucille and now Mimi seems to be getting into the picture gradually.

He consoled her after Lucille left (shouldn't he be the one upset while she consoles him instead?) and since then, they've been getting closer. Yep, they'd always been gossip buddies but never been as touchy feely as they have been in the last few days since Lucille's departure! I'd like to see if Ricco gets her to be more intimtae with him as they already shared a bed in the penthouse on monday. It would be more interesting though to see if he gets her evicted too. Watch this space...

BORRIS!

First, I searched for TK and since then he has come out in full force. Then I looked for Hazel who though has not come out so much, is beginning to be talked about a lot by the likes of Sheila and Mimi for being shady and sneaky!

But now Morris is definitely the missing one. Ever since he was nominated in the first week and subsequently treated like thrash by Latoya, it's been downhill for him. The poor guy just doesn't seem to be anywhere unless Uti is somewhere beside him. Infact, he has become more like Uti's sidekick and I know for sure that if Uti leaves (which should be never), the guy might just drown in his biceps! How does a guy so large be so anonymous? After Latoya, I have no memories of him and he sucks!

He needs to get off Uti's back and be obvious. If that is a strategy then it might be working for the housemates who actually haven't noticed him since the first week but definitely not for the viewers. Wake up dude!!!

See you next week when hopefully Ricco would have headed home...

STILL YAWNING...

I was away last week from blogging and I'm sure I can be forgiven by anyone who has been watching. The BBA3 show (in the last two weeks) has been a no show as far as I am concerned and I intend every pun! So what if there was another twist; and there was supposed to be an interesting fake eviction; and there was an unnecessary dumpster that wasn't very well dumped out (they should visit real dumps here in Lagos and see how comfortable their version was); then Ricco tried to jump back to Lucille with Munya still hanging in there somewhere! It all just didn't seem all real and interesting enough to hook viewers, or me at least!

There's no doubt that BB will always have it's addicts and ardent followers (and I always was a proud member of that bunch) but with BBA3, I'm sorry but they have lost me completely! Nothing spoils a reality TV show more than a sad move by the contestants themselves making it obvious that they are trying too hard to impress, especially on a reality show like BB where everyone is watching to see real people like them that they can relate to. Now I regret starting this blog 'cos watching has become more of a chore than anythong else. Here's what I could gather from 2 whole weeks of BBA3!

LOVELY NOMINATIONS THIS WEEK!!!

I'd like to start with what seems to be the most entertaining part of the show so far even though I feel really shitty that Uti is up for possible eviction this week. It would suck so bad for him to leave, especially since it looks like he'll be leaving! Apart from the fact that housemates might be leaving in reverse order from BBA2 (Tanzania won last time and left first this time; just like Nigeria was 2nd last time and might be leaving 2nd this time), I am almost certain that Ghana, Namibia, Angola and maybe South Africa, would be voting Uti out. Add that to the other likely ones like those Southern African countries Zambia (whose rep TK nominated Uti and vice versa), Zimbabwe (whose rep has nominated Uti in the past and hasn't hidden his dislike for him), Malawi (whose rep Hazel, Uti surprisingly nominated this week) ,who all usually vote along the same lines; and Tanzania whose rep left last week but was nominated by Uti! Things are not looking bright for Naija's boy...

But from a neutral point of view, the nomination show was wonderful. For a change, the housemates had serious reasons for nominating, even though Uti's reason for picking Hazel was kinda dodgy! Why would you nominate her because you know she won't come up for eviction? How does that help your cause?

I want my boy to stay on a little longer while really hoping Lucille leaves on sunday; but things ain't looking bright for him at all! And so in my little way of paying tribute to my dude, I've decided to let his fame rub off on me before he leaves the house! Here's my 5 minutes (or 1 week) of fame! Yay!!! I know Uti!!! And it doesn't matter if the picture's weird!!!

TOO MUCH BIG BROTHER SUCKS!!!

I've overheard the housemates more than once, talk about Big Brother shows from before. Everybody quickly and easily analyses how the last couple of BB's went down and why things turned out the way they did. Ricco for example, thinks Tatiana went so far because she was nice enough not to save herself even when she was up for nomination. He therefore will not save himself if he happens to be up so as to follow in Tatiana's steps!

That aside, there seems to be a conscious effort to be strategic. Big Brother is no Survivor and so, the serious attempt at playing the game has left the show lifeless for me. Things are always looked at from a voting point of view. If Uti argues with Lucille, then he would have to scream later that he might have lost Namibia's vote; Mimi gets angry loses her cool really badly but goes into the diary room and claims it was all a gameplan simply because Lucille told her that her outburst might have looked bad on TV; all that added to the constant effort to obviously present us with good TV! Good TV on a reality show of this sort where there's no script, should come naturally and that way it feels more like entertainment. These guys have watched too many BB shows and obviously feel the need to live up to certain stereotypes.

Ricco even said after the nomination, that this has to be the best BB ever!!! Who's measuring? And even if anybody is, is it in their place to judge themselves??? They are trying too hard man, even if not necesarily to be like any particular former BB housemates... It's just tedious man!!!

MIMI!!!

I couldn't find a title good enough to qualify her! For some reason, she just likes to thrust herself into every issue in the house! For viewers who do not get to watch, she kinda does a quick recap with her diary sessions! She just can't stop talking and so, love her or hate her, she does make the show worth it sometimes. It is also completely hillarious fom a viewers standpoint, to constantly hear her talk about strategies. She thinks everyone in the house loves her and can't nominate her since her strategy; to be nice to everyone, is working perfectly. I'm not sure if that is why she hasn't been nominated but what is certain is that she has somehow stayed away from the nomination list and it does help her confidence, which in turn would help her lame strategy, which would in turn give us more things to laugh about!

The chic needs to snap out of her state of delusion! Her strategy is weak, it isn't working and she does appear more hillarious than strategic! But hey, she's making the viewers have a laugh so ride on; especially with that head of hair on her...

HAZY HAZEL...

TK seemed to be missing for the first week or so but in the last couple of weeks Hazel seems to be drowning in her gorgeous hair! Where on earth is she these days? Is she really trying to pull an Ofunneka on us again? Cos even Ofunneka got nominated by the 2nd or 3rd week at least. I know her hair is to die for and I would loooooove to run my hands through it but c'mon, no one should be left to hide their way through a BB show. Hazel needs to be found out ASAP!!!

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

Latoya left the show and Ricco quickly moved on to Lucille who is still liked by Munya, who has started claiming that what he feels for Lucille is fading away, even though Tawana claims that she is on a mission to get munya and Lucille to be together. Tawana though seems to have lost out on the battle for TK's third leg, sorry heart to Sheila, whom Uti claims not to have a thing for but only sees her as one of the boys; just like he sees Thami, who by the way, is gradually taking Hazel away from Uti's reach, leaving him alone like Morris has been...

See you next week, as we hope that things would look brighter! Especially with Uti still in the house?!?

BBA 3; UTI'S WEEK, DEFINITELY!!!

When I decided to blog about BBA 3, it was mostly because I thought I would watch the show as often as possible as well as be very interested in every move in the house. But for some strange reason, I don't find myself so into the show. People have said that they think it's the best BB ever, some others think it is the most boring thing on TV since the Network News but I'm not sure if either of these has been my reason for not being so interested in how things have been panning out.

I find myself watching more online videos (thank God for those) than the actual show on TV and it does not make any sense. So do I have a case of 'TMBBFPSWNMMFUWW' (Too Much Big Brother From The Past Seasons Which Now Makes Me Fed Up With Watching)? Or am I just a sore viewer?

Anyways, here's what I got from this past week. And yeah, hope I get the nominations right this time (with my BB website induced error from last week; saying Munya nominated Lucille)...

Sorry I'm late with the post this week!

REHEARSED OR PURE COINCIDENCE?

For some reason, events from the past week seem to make me believe that most of the housemates came into the house with a serious intention to be somebody else, or to at least conciously try to entertain us or be controversial. There just seems to be a serious effort all the time to be something when we can all see that they really do not have to be anything but themselves. Someone is always trying so hard to be the flirt, another is consciously trying to be bossy, we have some others who think that they have to be gangster to be cool. Ricco even mentioned to the boys that they should come up with a unique handshake amongst themselves like the guys "from the last Big Brother did"! Is that important? Maybe I'm just reading too much into nothing...

I might not be seeing right but several desperate situations to be the 'IT' Big Brother group, just keep jumping at me and yeah, it does bother me!

GREAT POWER UTI!!!

Ever heard of John Eke Uti, a.k.a. the Great Power Uti? Well, he was a Continental Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Champion from Nigeria, known mostly for his tough talk before his bouts.

But Nigeria's very own BB rep., Uti Nwachukwu surely does not care about wrestling seeing that he is a model and has shown so far that he is not just beauty without brains (that bros smart gon!) But he did provide me with one of my 3 major highlights for this week when he almost folded and flushed Lucille down the toilet. I liked the entire drama especially since it came at a time when no one expected (who doesn't love surprises). But what I liked the most was the way he told Lucille in the rawest of Bini accents you would ever get anywhere, to; "GO AND DIE"!!! I could not stop laughing at that. It was so Nigerian and it surely did hit a nerve.

Whatever anyone wants to say about Uti being a chauvanist and insensitive to women makes no sense to me. They are all in the house to win and if a brother sees or hears something that he feels might undermine his chances, can he be allowed to vent? Abeg ee...

THAMORRIS.

One of the best things about BBA 3 so far has to be those fake evictions. For once, even the viewers were shocked. At least, I was. I had no idea that Thami and Morris would get to see who nomintaed them. It really got me thinking about what I would have done if I was one of the 10 other housemates. I remember that the first 2 people up for nomination in BBN were Ichemeta and Yinka and I had actually nominated both of them. It surely woud have sucked really bad for me if they had come back into the house after seeing who nominated them.

So in times like these, it surely was a lot of fun being a viewer. I loved every bit of it especially the part where Thami was told to leave the house and he screamed "No way"! I feel bad for them too because there really is no way for them to use that information to their advantage but it sure does feel good to know who wanted you axed.

I thought Morris (like he always does), was a little too dramatic with the whole thing though, with him pacing and dazing into space after going back into the house. What was that all for?

But what topped the entire episode for me was when the nominations for this week commenced. Morris' first nomination was Thami! What? After it seemed like they had planned their revenge together, with their little talk by the bathroom after coming back into the house? I thought they suddenly shared a bond with the fake evictions. I sure didn't see that one coming... There should have been an evil laughter (muhahahahaa) playing in the background when Morris nominated with his little finger in his mouth, Dr. Evil (Austin Powers) style...

THE DEAD SHOW

Before I forget, did anyone see that supposed live show on sunday, which seemed mostly lifeless? Apart from the eviction twist and KB who has upped his game, everything else seemed kinda slow. I dunno but something needs to be added to those events. They have been mostly unwatchable right from the entry show. From the very scanty crowds, to the sorry dancers, to the weird performances, things just haven't clicked. SAD!!!

CRY ME A RIVER; NO $100,000!!!

Is it me or have there been more tears in BBA3 than there were on BBSA 1 & 2, BBA 1 & 2 and BBN combined! On the first (fake) eviction night, there seemed to be a crying fest and they all felt stupid when the 2 housemates walked into the house; Ricco burst out in tears after leaving the diary room and probably feeling guilty that he didn't save Latoya as head of house; Lucille has cried quite a bit and Uti sure was a big part of her 3 minute storm in the diary room. It was even Tawana's reason for nominating her. But Tawana herself let it flow on nomination night in what I felt was the most ridiculous day on BB! She went on and on about being scared and wondering how Morris handled things the week before, talking about how she doesn't like to play games, bla bla bla!!!

For crying out loud (every single pun intended) why did you sign up for a game then? I like Tawana's in ur face bitching and bossy attitude. It just adds a little spice to the house. But crying over a nomination? C'mon, even Maureen from BBA 2, could handle it!

I'm not sure if Tawana cried simply to get Morris' attention (since she started crying a few minutes after saying that if she were outside the house with all this pressure, she would have been on her 3rd round of sex). But if that was her intention, it might have worked cos she stole a few kisses with the Ugandan while he tried to be the good guy by consoling her!

Sadly though, if these housemates think that the crying gets them sympathy from the viewers, then boy, there may be more crying outside the house when they get evicted and realise that they simply have cried themselves back to their former lives empty handed!

TK, NOOOOOOOO!!!

Did anyone notice TK in the house last week? Yeah, that should be the first question, cos the guy is so absent from everything! So absent that even the housemates seemed to have lost track of him as he surprisingly did not get a single vote during the nominations. Where does he hide? What does he do? Why is he there? Is he even there?

But then, for those who got to see him at all during the week, was it me or did he wear that sweater for 3 sraight days? We can understand that he does not care about fashion and how he looks but wearing the same unpretty top for 3 whole days, then giving it a day's break and putting it back on for the 4th time, just isn't 'werking'! On the day he took it off, a viewer summed things up beautifuly on the sms strapline by writing; "Quick housemates, TK's top is lying in the lounge. Hurry, go hide it!" God abeg o...

THAT UTI MASTERCARD AD!!!

Going into a house for 91 days to live with 11 total strangers; $100,000.

Watching BBA3 in Nigeria for 3 months by viewers; $225

Latoya, flirting around the house with Morricco; $1667 in a future Nollywood movie.

The look on Uti's face (while leaning on a crying Tawana's back) when Tawana asked the question; "Who ever nominates a nice person like Latoya?" Priceless!

WHAT!!! That look of guilt and mischief on his face was worth much more than $100,000! I swear you had to have seen it to understand...

TOO MANY COOKS...

This time it looks like too many twists might spoil the entire show for people. Okay we loved the fake evictions from last week but now, we are told that two out of the 3 nominees for this week (Latoya, Tawana and Sheila) would be evicted on sunday but they would not be going home. They would then move into a special BB rubbish dump (whatever that is) and live there for a whole week after which one of the housemates would be permanently evicted and the other sent back into the house. I like the idea of twists and how it breeds serious controversy in the house but I just hope it doesn't become one too many!

I also like the fact that Latoya thinks seriously that Ricco as head of house has saved her from possible eviction. Can't wait to see what she does when she finds out that her ass is up (even if literally speaking)!

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO THEMSELVES???
After the 2 fake nominees were sent back into the house, the other guys were understandably edgy and the smokers simply wanted their cigarrettes to cool off. They had none and then went on to do what I still find so shocking to even comprehend. They took out tea bags, ripped the tea from inside them, rolled them up in paper and started smoking! Who smokes tea? If that is a Kenyan or Zimbabwean or Botswanan or Angolan tradition (since it was Sheila, Munya, Tawana and Ricco that did smoke), it sure is one that makes no sense. It was not funny and can't even be made light hearted... With Ricco's alleged withdrawal symptoms and many other unclear things, who knows what else they could smoke?

Sick as far as I am concerned!!!

IN OTHER NEWS;

While the other housemates were dancing away to DJ Waxxy's beats on saturday night in the garden, TK and Tawana suddenly sneaked out into the bedroom and were soon under the sheets making funny sounds and moving in weird ways. Did they have sex or nearly did?

Meanwhile, TK had been sharing a bed at night with Sheila all along and hadn't really shown signs before then of feelings towards Tawana. Tawana had also earlier said she would like to bed Munya; who is sadly head over hills in want of Lucille; who is not sure whom amongst Uti, Munya, TK and Ricco she wants. Meanwhile, Ricco likes her too and was caught massaging her and blowing her kisses severally but he shares his bed with Latoya instead, after reclaiming her from Morris. Now Morris used to be woth Latoya but seems to have lost out and Ricco is in the driving seat.

But then Ricco was noted to have said that he also kissed Mimi on a certain night even though Mimi allegedly likes Morris, who unfortunately doesn't have any feelings for her and so might have to look elsewhere. That elsewhere better not be Hazel though since she seems to have the hots for Uti who might actually want Lucille instead since he says he likes fly, light skinned girls! Confused? Me too...

AND THE WINNER IS...

Last week, Munya seemed to have it. But now, naah! As weird as that house is, even TK or Hazel could win it after all... But the highlight of the week had to be Uti. He was everywhere, spoke his mind, cussed, fought, smiled and got scared he would be nominated! He sure rocked the house...

See ya next week!

BBA 3. NOT ALL THAT AFTERALL...

It's been a week already since I posted here, a week since BBA 3 started, a week since 12 new guinea pigs were shoved in our faces and sadly, I'm already tired! I really am a reality show buff so much so that I had to get on one but for some reason, watching BBA3 seems to be more like a chore than anything else! I am not trying to be the ultimate critic here. It's just my honest opinion. We got to see too much too soon from the 12 new housemates and there seems to be some level of desperation to impress much more than anything else.

But then I haven't watched as much as I shoul have. Heard about a game of truth or dare but couldn't watch, I also missed the shared kisses all over the place and that means I can't even talk as much as I'd have wanted to this week.

I like the idea of a fake eviction at first instance though. Twists should be unexpected and this one sure is...

M'while, here are a few of my thoughts on week one;

WORST STRATEGY EVER ON BIG BROTHER:

This is Latoya's award definitely! She said to Big Brother in the diary room on Day 3, that she was glad to be playing with Morris' and Ricco's minds. According to her, she'd be glad if 5 or 6 guys were after her since that was her strategy; to get the men to drool over her!

Well, on Day 6, it was all over after Uti talked to her and told her to make up her mind and let Morris know where things stood. She goes on to say she likes Morris and can't hurt him. Meaning that with 84 days to go, her strategy was already up in smoke and nearly dead on arrival. How dreadful...

PRETTY CONFUSED OR BEAUTIFUL LIAR?

Lucille is everyone's darling. Pretty, quiet and probably much more of a personality than meets the eye. She told Big Brother on Day 3 that she was not comfortable with the attention she was getting from the men all of a sudden. She had hoped to go unnoticed in the house for a while but it obviously didn't work out.

Then she got quizzed by Munya and she claimed to like Ricco and Uti and Munya and TK. She ended up (probably) kissing Munya on Day 7 but then walked out of the room afterwards. Then she told Thami in the glass room that she likes Munya but just as a friend. She'd also said before that she liked his voice and used to actually like TK at the start of the show. Too many emotions all at once and viewers don't know where to hold on to!

Can she really be that confused or is she messing withe evryone?

WE'RE NOT SMARTER THAN 5TH GRADERS!

First it was Uti who thought that the Tutsi's and Hutu's fought in Uganda and not Rwanda!

Then Munya (the Zimbabwean) didn't remember when Zimbabwe gained their independence!

Then Thami (the South African) confused South Africa's Independence with the end of Apartheid.

Too many gaffes for one week!!!

PINOCCHIO!

On day 4, Sheila told Uti that she had no idea how the whole Big Brother concept works. According to her, she had never watched the show before becoming a housemate herself apart from the 2 scenes she once caught in passing. She blames that for not having a strategy.

But then, Sheila has talked about Abby and Bruna and Gaetano and Jeff; all former BB housemates. She also confessed to having applied last year for BBA2 and while watching Jeff, she couldn't understand why they picked him over her! Dodgy girl huh...

SICKO RICCO!!!

His neck twitches unbelievably, he blinks every 2 seconds, he acts half his age and cross dresses!He lost out in the battle for Latoya with Morris, sems to be losing female fans equally and has been insinuated to be gay but hey, he hasn't stopped for a break. Too much drama in one package. I hope he slows down and tones down soon cos the cross dressing in particular is not even near funny anymore.

VANITY, STUPIDITY AND POOR VISION!

The vogue in the house seems to be the wearing of sunglasses all the time. Someone probably told them that it was/is a cool idea or that it's currently the vogue, probably to fool them but they obviously took the person seriously. Uti wears shades indoors and at night, Takondwa wears shades inside the house and at night, so also do Sheila, Ricco, Mimi and Munya! I'm still trying to figure out what the whole idea is but I sure know that it's wrong.

Morris is the most guilty tho. The brother feels like he's the best thing since sliced bread and loves to show off his arms and body. He must have been told in the past that he's really cute and that has worked for him. But the shades at night; c'mon!

THAMI AGAINST THE WORLD.

I like Thami but I feel like I'm alone on this one. The viewers think he's irritating, self centered, laughs in a weird way and doesn't take jokes very well. The housemates also agree and put him up for (fake) nomination this week.But I think he's smart, sincere, funny and quite the drama king. I liked that he threw out the cigarrettes and meat in the house! Nice twist! The fact that he's not even a suspect makes it more interesting. He's also the only person to have noticed a clique forming in the house amongst Morris, Uti and Ricco even it seems more a case of paranoia. Big Brother punished him for wasting food by throwing meat away but hey, it did give his show, content for 3 whole days with the house in panic over what had happened to the missing items. Hope he stays in for a bit longer than the viewers/housemates want him to...

AND THE WINNER IS...

If the show were to end today, Munya woud win. He's good looking, talks well, says the right things at the right time, smiles a lot and is hooking up with the hottest chic in the house, Lucille. I like him a lot and most housemates and viewers do too. But his style of nominations might be his undoing. It's still a blur as to why he nominated Lucille, a girl supposedly after his heart. Obviously places the prize money over anything else. Would that backfire? We'll see...

Okay, so if I didn't watch that much last week and still had this much to say, then you can only imagine that next week must be loaded. See u then...

BBA 3 WEEK 1...

I wasn't very excited about the start of another Big Brother Africa show. Maybe 'cos it came too soon seeing that a lot of us hadn't still recovered from the shock and drama that was BBA 2 last year but then, I wasn't ready to miss it for anything especially since there was going to be a Nigerian and I might as well keep myself busy watching people become the next set of guinea pigs. Besides, there's a little devil in all of us that just likes to be in everyone else's business.

So I set out to see the opening ceremony at a DSTV organised launch party. Everyone was expectant and only hoped that Nigeria would get a fitting rep this time. Then the show started...

I loved Kabelo's hosting last year but if the opening show on sunday was anything to judge him by, then we might be in for a sad and boring 3 months. He seemed flat and tried too hard to connect with the viewers. The ceremony itself did not help matters. It was flat, dull, not colourful at all and everything looked unprepared. Those dancers on the stage, were to the stage what John McCain would be to a race with Usain Bolt! They sucked and I did not see the point of them ushering the housemates into the house. Everything was just wrong but they would be forgiven if their next live show makes better sense. But until then, i'm sorry but they have failed badly!

It was time to welcome the housemates and these are my thoughts as at day one...

BOTSWANA'S TAWANA came in first and her bald head was the first thing I noticed. Most people didn't like that but I did and still do. She is very opinionated and had the first argument in the house already when she refused to have Christianity and the bible shoved down her throat by the Nigerian. She's a drinker, a smoker and says she hates girls and her neighbours. Definitely controversial and that works for me. But would it work for other housemates and the viewers? (think BBN's Joan)

I would let her be in the house for at least 2 months to stir up a lot of sh*t but I doubt that she'll last that long.

GHANA'S MIMI followed and the first things I saw were her dark skin and tummy which she tried to hide behind her belt. She looked like she came in to have fun and by their first couple of hours in the house, she wanted to be the life of the party so badly. She used the 'F' word every 3 seconds and drank the alcohol in the fridge out. She slured and cussed and just wasn't coherrent. She ended up doing herself some good healthwise but definitely some bad, ratings-wise by throwing up. On the first night? That's mental!

Her diary session on Day 1 was surely the most interesting though. She's looking like the diary session tell all! (think BBN's Sandra)

I would love to see her in the house for a couple of weeks just to see how many more times she'll throw up and reveal all at the diary room but I know the viewers want her out already!

KENYA'S SHEILA is hoooooooot!!! I started rooting for her even before I cared that there would be a Nigerian. She also looks very flirty and would be causing some problems romance wise with the other housemates. She comes across as smart but a bit talkative tho, drinks and smokes quite a bit but hey who cares? She's hot. She will get in people's faces a lot though. (think BBA 2's Lerato)

I'd like to see her till the end mostly for the eye candy she offers and nothing else. I think viewers will be divided on her but the housemates might grow to dislike her!

MALAWI'S HAZEL came in next and has been so undercover ever since. So much so that I don't have an impression of her yet. She's pretty tho and her hair is loooooong and gorgeous. I'm hoping she'll start talking soon though. (think BBA 2's Bertha meets Maureen)

If nothing else, i'd like to see her a bit longer in the house just so that I can have an impression because something tells me she really is a freak but I doubt that viewers wil be that patient as she's already being compared to BBA 2's Maureen (or Boreen like she was called).

NAMIBIA'S LUCILLE followed and isn't bad looking at all. She smiled a lot and has been doing more that than talking ever since. She's young and looks innocent but we know that no one who decides to go on BBA after seeing last year's edition, can't be innocent. She looks like one of those under the rader people who might do a lot of cooking and cleaning till the last day. (think BBA 1's Cherise, BBN's Helen and BBA 2's Ofunneka).

Not sure I really care that much about how long she stays as day 1 or 91 is just fine by me but I think she'll be there for a while tho cos the housemates and viewers may not even remember that she's there!

TANZANIA'S LATOYA followed and the first thing I saw was her make up and hair! She was the type who wanted to be noticed and would definitely be hooking up with a guy in the house. She got into the house and the first question she asked after saying hi, was whether anyone would be having sex in the house? I don't know if anyone would but I sure know she'll be willing to, seeing that she's already getting cosy with a certain Angolan (Angola (Tatiana)-Tanzania (Richard) again?!). I think her make up bag might be heavier than her entire luggage tho (think BBN's Ify and BBA 2's Tatiana).

ANGOLA'S RICCO came in next and his entire attitude screamed "I'm a teenager and I need attention." He's young, very hip, has piercings and sags his jeans way below his butt! He talks a whole lot, loves himself even more and could not wait to take a 'naked shower' immediately he got in; at least so he said. He spent the night on the same bed with Latoya already and might be the first to get laid amongst the guys. He is very likeable tho but might end up over doing things. (think BBA 2's Richard)

I like him but he looks like the sort I might get tired of seeing soon so 3 weeks to a month is just fine but the housemates and viewers might leave him for longer mostly for his looks and possible romp with the chics!

NIGERIA'S UTI followed and I was in total shock! I had met Uti at my eviction party in 2006 and he told me then, about how he had laid a number of chics while I was in the house, simply 'cos they had thot that we were brothers and he played along. We kept in touch ever since and I even chatted with the mo-fo last week. He was on another reality show last year in Nigeria (The Next Movie Star) and placed second so it's even more shocking that he got into the house. The Uti I know is a player, loves himself, loves the camera, loves to be the centre of attention and is very opinionated (as we saw in his bible argument with Botsawna's Tawana). Will he be different from what I already know? He already looks like one of the favourites with the ladies and guys alike both in and outside the house. I just hope he slows down on his pidgin English soon. But I am soooooo rooting for him and he has to win the money o! (think BBA 1's Gaetano but more as the winner this time)

SOUTH AFRICA'S THAMI was next and it was a downward slide from the loads of eye candy we had been offered. He seems like a nice guy tho who does not hold back on having fun. He was drunk beyond anyone else on the first night and shared a quick kiss with Botswana's Tawana. He talked and slured and talked and slured until he slept off on someone else's bed and the boys had to throw him out. He seems very smart tho but also very sensitive. (think BBA 2's Justice)

I like this guy and I'd love to see him for a while in the house. He seems the most real of the guys so far and that works for me. The viewers especially SAans don't love him that much tho so we'd have to wait and see!

UGANDA'S MORRIS was next and he tried to look calm while going in even though it was obvious that he was overwhelmed by the occassion. He hasn't talked much so far and has been trying to appear as the listening calm guy. But his first diary session gave that away as he was very opinionated and is already hating on some of the girls. Botswana's Tawana seems to be loving him already but he might not play ball; at least not for the first couple of days. I feel like we'll be seeing a new side to him as soon as this week or next. (think BBA 2's Code)

He could leave tomorrow and that would be fine by me. I think viewers love him tho so whatever!

ZAMBIA'S TAKONDWA or TK or Taekwando like Nigeria's Uti prefers to call him is the chubby teddy bear! I liked him immediately I saw him cos he was different. He wasn't a pretty boy and yet wasn't bad to look at. He raps but then hasn't had a lot to say in the house. He seems to be on the low, watching everyone in the house for now. He seems smart tho and could be one of those late favourites (think BBN's Joseph)

I like him and wouldn't mind him being there till the end. But if he doesn't talk anytime soon, then it should be over. Not sure the viewers will agree though seeing that everyone's excited by all the other eye candies!

ZIMBABWE'S MUNYA was last in and for many ladies, they had saved the best for last. He is good looking and so far, he's been the perfect guy. He talks only when he should and is not in anyone's space. Totally cool and seems to be the hot favourite already on Day 1. But then seeing that Day 1 counts for nothing with 91 days in mind, it might be too early to get excited. (think BBN's Gideon)

He's everyone's darling so far both viewers and housemates (except SA's Thami who already had issues with him on the first night over some bed space) but I'm not sure I want him in there for that long 'cos I always root for the underdog!

That's it and i'll be watching to see who suddenly turns into something else and pulls a Bertha on us. See you next week...

BIG BROTHER AGAIN!?!

It might be the least watched reality show in America but in the UK and Africa, people literally have sleepless nights when it's Big Brother season. It's upon us again and not even the Nigerian Senate could stop us from watching this year! I will be doing a weekly review of the BBA 3 housemates just for the f**k of it; but before then, I have to do a quick recap of Nigeria's own version simply for those of you who might be wondering why I would want to be a BB blogger without any experience! O yeah, I know it's a cheap way to get in the news again but whatever... Read on jare!

I was on the Nigerian version of Big Brother over 2 years ago with 13 other housemates so i'm more or less expired even if a veteran of some sorts. I lived with some of the weirdest and unlikely people ever and it was all because I was broke and bored. 2 years on and the memories are still fresh. Someone once said that all I did in the house was drink alcohol and scratch my balls (literally). Others remember me for being a slow guy when a hot girl wanted to be with me at all cost. Yet some others remember me for that kiss in the kitchen with another female. But most importantly I keep asking myself, WTF did i go into that house for??? And the other housemates...

ICHEMETA was there for all of 2 weeks and left before we could see more of those hips. She danced, dreamt up some of the most childish dreams, lived in unbelievable fairy tale land and got evicted quickly. She had the strangest appetite as I can't remember seeing her eat a single meal. All she did was juice her system up!

She's done with school now and should be off to Law School in a couple of months.

YINKA was HUGE and was the first to defy Big Brother by refusing to exercise in the morning. Whether that was him being lazy or just standing up for himself is talk for another day. He snored, argued, read books, rapped, ate and left with so much still left in him for us to see. He was extremely intelligent but some of us never got to see that side.

He's building a music career now and hopes to finish his novel soon.

CHINEDU broke grounds in many ways. He had the first chic, had the first kiss, had the first argument and even though he denies it, every viewer thinks he also had sex first. He wasn't the viewers' choice but many male housemates wanted him around for the controversy. And who could forget that gummy smile/laughter!

He's becoming a Nollywood regular, has a rap single out and does a lot of charity work.

JOAN on the other hand, was the ice queen and we all loved to hate her. She wasn't friendly but you still wanted to be her friend. I might have tried to get with her if Chinedu wasn't quickly there by Day 1 (or Day 0 more like!). She was very hardworking but definitely the least friendly. She was Big Brother's nightmare in the diary room tho with her very curt replies.

Today, she's done more movies since than she can even remember and might be opening a jewellry/clothing/accessories store soon. Watch out!

MAUREEN smiled from the heart but thinking of her now only brings to mind that annoying shriek she called a laugh. Her voice was shrill, she loved attention but also loved to be in charge. She ended up having the most romantic relationship on the show. Remember that kiss in the yard? Damn! That was a classic! Her eviction was definitely shocking to both viewers and housemates.

She had a degree before the show but still went on to TV school afterwards. She's now a TV Presenter and actor.

GIDEON was the hottie. Perfect looks, perfect body, perfect entry into the house and perfect grass to grace story. He loved himself to death and never hid that fact. Infact, the only thing he loved more than himself was the mirror! And boy, did he have a large appetite! And yeah, that kiss with Maureen? MAAAAAAD!

He's done a bit of modelling since the show and appeared in a movie but right from the first of September, he'll be back in our faces as a hot spoilt brat in MNET's new soap opera, Tinsel. Big things man!!!

HELEN loved to gossip and never hid that fact. She talked about everyone to everyone and probably made the show interesting as a result. She supposedly back stabbed someone she was supposed to be helping and did not see what the big deal was about that. But the housemates loved her for her classic meals and life saving mid night baking. Plus that body; gosh!!!

She launched Helen's Kitchen after the show and had a stint on TV and movies but is now gaining a reputation as a top caterer in Lagos.

JOSEPH was the oldest, the most quiet, the one who slept the most and definitely the best (read as only) male cook in the house (or best cook male or female according to Big Brother during the food task). He was involved only when he needed to and seemed the most likely to leave the house on the first week Little did the housemates know that he was the most loved outside the house since a certain fan club JFC was running the show. He later lost out of the show but not from the love of his fans.

He went back to his job as a cabin crew member and had a stint with modelling.

FRANK was loud, brash, in your face, very opinionated and there simply for the money. He danced, led the aerobics almost every morning, farted without control and hated Katung's guts. He was one of the favourites and was definitely the sniper of the show as he nominated every single housemate who left before him with the famous "Somebody's gotta go" line. His work rate and passion was unmatched though.

He went on to dance school after the show, got married, continued dancing and was a judge on a dance reality show recently.

SANDRA was just different. She did better than most of us guys at boot camp, wanted to be a teacher and thought that her best asset was her ass (now can anyone forget that ass?). She was one of 2 surprise entrants to the house in the 3rd week and quickly joined the gossip crew. The viewers loved her very revealing diary sessions the most though. No one gave her a chance past her first week in the house but she did stay till the end. Very under estimated!

She did a bit of acting after the show and is now an interior decorator!

IFY was probably the most talked about housemate. She had an accent or accents like some viewers thought, she quarrelled with any and everyone without holding back and spent most of her mornings painting her face. She was supposed to be the lady in the house but I remember her most for her attempt at a desert during the food week. Haven't laughed at the collapsed flambee like I have at anything else since then. People wanted her out by day 2 but hey, she stayed till the end!

She now runs a salon and is a TV Presenter.

FRANSISCA loved to dance, loved attention and had a wild crush (or pretended to have one simply as a strategy like she said after the show) that made her the crowd's favourite. She lived that crush for all of the 91 days that she was in the house for and it ALMOST worked out for her. She probably had the most nominations and as a result made a mini star out of her Aunty Pat. Men wanted to be with her while women wished they could dance like her. She could have won but didn't.

She is now working on a talk show and yeah, she is so over Ebuka!!!

KATUNG came into the house to win and did! He had a plan to be the focal point in the house which he succesfuly did, to court controversy, which he did by having a 'thing' with Ify and to divorce emotion from strategy in his nomination sessions. He was an instant favourite the moment he stepped into the house and stayed that way by beating the almighty JFC to their game. He also supposedly had sex but hey who are we to say so when the pair say they didn't?

He became Abuja's favourite radio DJ after the show, became a large scale farmer, became a partner in a music production company, started an NGO, became a brand icon and many more things I can't remember! A true winner.

There was a Big Brother Africa show last after the Nigerian show and it almost turned out to be Big Pornstar Africa! But hey they are in the past like our show now and since I wasn't on that oe, I won't be talking about it now.

That's it for now. My BBA 3 impressions start after this...

Crank Dat Naija Boy 2

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Crank Dat Naija Boy

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